Studying Again...So here goes

The bend in the road…How often are we discouraged by the bend in the road? How many times do we shake our heads and say I knew this was coming or I should’ve known that was a bad idea. Only at the end of the journey to look back through every bend and say…Its not what I would have chosen but I would do it again to be where I am or have what I have in my life be it spiritually, financially, emotionally you name it.
How does a frightened fugitive become a courageous leader…time with God. Hello captain obvious, why do we have so much trouble with the simplest things in life. It’s like my tax reform idea it’s just too simple for a government as complicated as ours to implement. However, in my life which is usually only complicated by me I too can not see the simplest answer all the time. And the idea that obedience can mean increased suffering to one’s self and others. This is not an idea I’m all that crazy about. I am mostly ok with obedience except when it gets in the way of…lets see…my life, my fun, 42 cocktails you fill in the blank here for yourself. However, on the days I do choose obedience my life in the end becomes less complicated and I am free. Isn’t it funny that what seems so hard at first and up front in the end becomes the thing that offers the most freedom. It is freedom too, that peace you feel that surpasses all understanding when you just lay your head on your pillow that night with out vice or disobedience? Why is that freedom so hard to remember when faced with the temptation or discouragement? I am so grateful that my discouragement never discourages God. I am however most grateful for the ability to be transparent in prayer. In the notes at first glance it seems like Moses is being a big sissy about “O Lord, why have you brought trouble upon this people? Is this why you sent me?” (Exodus 5:22) however, the explanation in the notes Page 2 Section III “It was a desperate prayer growing out of great personal pain, but the question Moses asked was reasonable and his description was accurate.” I am not much for a victim. I have great compassion for people who suffer affliction, addiction and circumstance, I know suffering brings enormous gifts and I am sickened by the choice to stay the victim under any circumstance; and never receive the gift. I am familiar with the story so I know Moses’ is not being a victim because as said before his description was accurate. I wonder some days are mine?

God’s changing things for me girls, doors are opening that I was never quite sure of before. Things I did not recognize God could ever really use it seems he is using. I am still praying for his provision and the ability to recognize his provision but also his will for me and that some days he might need to use a 2x4 instead of a whisper but I am trying really really hard to be still and know to be quiet and hear.